More Love

Blog3(Part 3 of a 3-part Series)

Three of our children had left and two new ones arrived – all in one day!  That made for a very long afternoon. We hadn’t had a baby for a while and my wife really enjoyed having one at home.  These two boys were special. We loved every child who came through our home, but everyone in our home felt a special bond to these two boys.

All our kids really connected with them. Then of course, much sooner than we expected, we found out they were leaving. That day always comes, and never when we are ready. We hoped their home situation had improved, but we weren’t sure. They left and there was a void there. My wife felt something she hadn’t before – a deep remorse that she didn’t know how to grieve. She wasn’t sure she could take another baby again.

A few weeks later that is exactly what we got – a sibling set of four and one of them was a baby. We didn’t think we could do it. Every time we looked at this new baby we expected to see the one who had just left. We wrestled with feelings of sadness and even anger. That bed didn’t belong to him. It’s difficult to fully explain those emotions.

We struggled with that for several weeks. We felt awful. We felt unloving. We tried to love this little one, but the loss we felt wouldn’t allow us to do so properly.

But God is always Faithful! Eventually we got through it. We began to love this baby the way he truly deserved. God had to do a special work in us and he was faithful to bring the healing we needed.

This baby and his three siblings are doing very well today, they’ve since been reunited with their family and they are thriving. Just when we think our capacity to love has been exhausted – God fills us with more. That first baby was special to us and we didn’t think we could ever love another one. But because of His faithful love, we did and still are.

You see, my wife and I thought we were done having kids, especially after 2 ½ years of houseparenting. I think I heard God laugh from heaven and say, “You’re not done yet.” We fell in love with another one and decided to adopt him…just when you think you have nothing left, God gives you more! When God calls you to something, He provides and equips you with what you need.

We fail and we falter, but God never does! God is always Faithful! Always and without exception!!

By Randall Jeffrey